What Those Who Can’t Do Do.

IF YOU CAN’T SUCCEED, WHY NOT GIVE THE INTERNET A TRY?

Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, “You can’t cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.― W.C. Fields

*NOTE* I actually wrote this (arguably rather churlish) post a year or so ago, published it in a few places on the .net and then promptly forgot about it. Well, until one of the possibly unnamed subjects of the rant called me out of the blue, demanding an apology. I couldn’t supply one but figured a re-issue might suffice-and perhaps even be of interest to those who had missed it the first time around.


What Those Who Can’t Do Do, A Fiddle On The D-K Effect.

IF YOU CAN’T SUCCEED IN REAL LIFE, WHY NOT GIVE THE INTERNET A TRY?

I suppose you’re on a fool’s errand if you give a man a tool, say a bullhorn or a gun and, for good or ill, not expect him to use it. If you tell a fool that he can be anything he wants and he decides to be President Of The United States (POTUS), whose fault is that?

What if everyone takes a statement like this as fact but neglects to take on board the possibility that a lot of planning, work, disappointment, and luck might be involved in the attainment of the chosen endeavor? Does the fine sentiment embodied in this statement then start to belie the unfolding of a fundamental misconception or falsehood? Or worse, a world where the duality, the black & white of things, just fade into one long, unending shade of grey mediocrity?

Hmmm, that sounds deep. Give me a chance to think a little and I’ll get back to you on it.

In most lines of work, there is some sort hierarchy of spiritual and social nobility: the great, the near great, the average, the near average and somewhere towards the bottom level, the idiotic & mediocre. Social media is often responsible for allowing this last group to be on equal footing with and be given equal airtime to the first. Just one of the drawbacks of easy access, I suppose.

I run a gym. This has been my vocation, my avocation and the source of my livelihood for the last 25 years or so. Not a business that is likely to make me very rich, but it’s my day job and one that I have never dreaded getting up or waiting for the weekend with. Yes, it is the sort of job that one can sometimes find a source of pride and gratification in.

Recently (by that I mean, in the last decade or so) the fitness business has become quite a popular one to be in. But, it was not always so. Along with this popularity came a Pandora’s box of good things, including acceptance, a little money, and a modicum of respect. In other words, it’s kind of made it “ok” nowadays to do what I do. It wasn’t always so, but that’s a topic for another blog.

However, along with these good things, the Pandora’s Box contains other, more unwholesome things. Things like: mediocrity, stupidity, ignorance, pretense, snobbishness, pettiness, snake oil, sour grapes and other forms of wastage.

I now come to the point where I’m going to need some concrete examples of what I am talking about. But I also need to be careful to not turn this thing into a rant or diatribe that is only bound to bore any reader who has managed to get this far. A writer needs to have respect for his reader’s time. I’ll try to do my best, but if it gets tedious, or you feel that I’m just bitching pointlessly, pass on to something else.

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Living on an island far away from most of the cares of the big, wide world is often idyllic, sometimes repetitive…but on occasion, it’s a little pathetic and comical, too.

Not long ago we came across a guy online who once owned a failed fitness business in town, touting a new online course that he was promoting purporting to teach: “All that you need to do to succeed in the fitness business, but were afraid to ask”. Ok, so who better to give advice on how to do it, right? I was intrigued and decided to investigate further.

So, I went ahead and clicked on the bait. What I found was a man beginning his sales pitch with ” Hi, I am so-and-so, have done such-and-such, Trainer To The Stars and Famous Sports Teams, etc., etc., so on and so on”.

Next, we are treated to a rather dodgy photo of Arnold doing a selfie with this guy in the background throwing a double biceps (well, isn’t that what you pay your entry ticket and stand in long lines at trade shows for…or is this just a bad example of Photoshop?). The oddly ridiculous thing is that this piddling excuse for a fitness boffin doesn’t really have any biceps to speak of.

Finally, there is some sort of statement, something unlikely, like about this being some sort of evidence of Arnold’s endorsement. All of this, of course, is utter HOGWASH.

Ah, I almost forgot, the best part seems to be that you can learn his secret from wherever you are in the world for less than the price of a good dinner out, just £99! What a deal.

Actually, what it appears to me that we are dealing with here, is nothing more than some wannabe failed fitness guy from a small island trying on a half-assed con.

Next (Just one more example, I promise it will be my last!)

Ok, so perhaps the example above was just an oddball, a one-off? If only we were so lucky. No, another individual has apparently come online, one who lives locally and looks suspiciously like the jolly, handsome gentleman pictured in the photo below in the footer. Apparently, this particular gentleman is giving online classes on how to lose weight, without dieting. By all accounts, we reckon that sticking with his day job is a wise and highly prudent idea. Just in case things don’t work out.

We also don’t know if this particularly knowledgeable guru is asking for payment or compensation in exchange for the valuable information that he seems only too willing to try and shove down our throats, or generously going to be giving it away. Hmm, whatever the case, sometimes you are lucky enough to get what you are willing to pay for, often it turns out to be a lot less…and sometimes you’re just going to have to pay for something that you thought was being given to you free of charge.

Come on, though will anyone really likely to take any of this crap seriously? It is a joke, isn’t it? Someone just wasting time at our expense?

I sincerely hope not!

All in all, it doesn’t really make much sense to us, none of it.

Yes, perhaps, it is all just a bad joke, like a groundhog giving lessons on how to soar like an eagle or a pig offering instruction on the right and proper use of hand tools.

#BodyWorks #YouHaveGotToBeJoking #ConMenKeepConin #JustShrugYourShouldersAndSayWTF #GetReal


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